I’ve always felt a little bit ambivalent about Christmas. I think that it is great to have a reason to celebrate and spend time with family during the darkest, gloomiest month of the year. I appreciate that some people go out of their way to be nice and help others during the holiday season. However, Christmas in the US can also be a bit garish, imposing, and stressful.
I know that many people consider Christmas to be an inclusive holiday, with many secular and non-Christian (e.g. pagan) traditions. They therefore think that Christmas is an “American holiday”, rather than a religious one, and don’t think twice about saying “Merry Christmas” rather than “Happy Holidays”. I have to respectfully disagree with this sentiment. Although it’s easy to forget amidst all of the trees, Santas, mistletoe, and lights, Christmas is fundamentally intended to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. Some people who are not Christian may partake in the festivities, but many do not celebrate the holiday.
Actually, not everyone celebrates a religious holiday in late December, so even saying “Happy Holidays” is a stretch. And no, Hannukah is not “Jewish Christmas”, the holiday is actually a minor holiday, with its own meaning and separate traditions.
Since I was raised Jewish, as I was growing up, I often felt excluded and confused about Christmas. My mother was born into a Protestant family and converted to Judaism after marrying my dad, but her side of the family is Christian. So, my grandmother always had us over to her house in early December to decorate her tree and eat cookies. Later, on Christmas morning we would return for brunch with my uncle, aunt and cousin.
I have many fond memories of those times, but also some memories of tension, conflict, and fighting amongst my family members. I remember when one year, my grandmother brought me to sit on Santa’s lap. I wasn’t happy about it, and when Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I replied, “I don’t want anything for Christmas, because I’m Jewish.” He then asked me what I wanted for Hanukah. Being the little smart-alleck that I was, I told him, “it doesn’t matter because it won’t come from you”, or something like that. I’m sure my grandmother was pretty furious, or at least embarrassed.
I still don’t understand the Santa hype… since when was it a good thing to encourage your small children to sit on a strange, hairy, old man’s lap?
Although I experienced Christmas with my mom’s family, I never celebrated it at home or in school, since I went to a Jewish day school until 7th grade. Then, when I got to middle school, I felt especially excluded, since I didn’t know many of the carols or traditions. So, as a melodramatic teenager, I made it clear to everyone I know that “I hate Christmas.” I consistently played the role of grinch amongst my group of friends for many years.
When I started dating Ross, we began to embrace each other’s family traditions. He went to high-holiday services with me, and dined at the first Seder I ever hosted. In return, I have tried to be open-minded about celebrating Christmas with him and his family, and have come to enjoy it very much. Ross’s parents do an excellent job making me feel included but not imposed upon. So I am no longer the grinch that I once was.
I still want to remain sensitive to others, and never assume that the holiday is a meaningful, or even pleasant time for everyone. I am no longer bothered when people ask me “what are your plans for Christmas”, or “this would make a great Christmas present”, but I try not to say those things to others unless I’m sure they celebrate the holiday. I’m not perfect though. Sometimes I catch myself saying phrases like “Christmas break” rather than “winter vacation”, and little things like that.
So what does this have to do with living in Sarajevo? Well, one thing that I love about living here is that there are so many religions represented and respected here. It really is a great model for religious pluralism. Although there are some Christmas decoration and festivities, nobody assumes that the holiday is for everyone. If I want to celebrate, there are plenty of opportunities, but I don’t have to listen to Jingle Bells 8000 times when I go shopping. Until I get to LA on Friday…
No comments:
Post a Comment