Friday, January 13, 2012

Memory


            I am going back to Chicago/Evanston on Monday.  Of course, I can’t wait to go.  But thinking about my “home” today made me feel pretty uneasy.  I realized how much I don’t remember.  I have slowly forgotten how our apartment smells, what the surfaces of our furniture feel like, which drawers contain what.  I’m sure that my forgetting has been gradual, but for some reason it seems so sudden to me.  I can see Ross in our dining room every day on Skype, and I have occasionally made him give me a “skype tour” of our place.  Without it, I can imagine that I would remember even less!
            I’ve been gone nearly four months now.  After my four-day stint in Evanston, I will return to Europe for another five and a half months.  I wonder how strange it will feel to go home this summer.  I really miss my home, and sometimes I feel like July 2nd can’t come soon enough.  But now I’m also starting to dread leaving, and having to say goodbye to Sarajevo.  I guess I always knew that returning home would be bittersweet, but now I think it will be harder than I first anticipated.  Fortunately, I have a lot to look forward to this summer: visiting Maine and going to Colorado for my friend Emma’s wedding.
            I don't want to forget my experiences here after I leave.  I know that it is only a matter of time and my memories will be fuzzier, just as they are of my home in Evanston right now.  I'm very glad that at least I'm documenting my experiences quite thoroughly, with photos and this blog.  I hope that it will help me feel more connected, no matter where my future brings me.
            I'm sure I'll have more to say about this subject later, as my departure from Sarajevo nears.  For now, I am trying not to think about it too much, and just enjoy the coffee!

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