Update

Zdravo!

I know it's been several years, but I want to confirm I am no longer using or posting on this blog.  I have decided to leave it up because I think it could still be useful for anyone interested in a foreigner's first impressions of life in Sarajevo.  I am still getting quite a few hits from all over the world!

I am doing well, remaining in Sarajevo and playing with the Sarajevo Philharmonic regularly since my last update. (I was offered a permanent contract in the spring of 2013)  My husband Ross is also doing well, and has been graciously shuttling between Sarajevo and Chicago, teaching at universities in both locations.  If you are interested in following my new professional blog/website, check it out: https://meganrobbinsoboe.wordpress.com

On Hold

My apologies, but I'm going to be taking a break from blogging for a while.

The past few weeks have been quite busy, and I am afraid that my schedule will only get more hectic.  I really like to write as a way of processing new events and ideas, but have not found the energy to keep up with blogging lately, especially since I have a dissertation to write this year.  Maybe once I manage to complete my first draft, I will resume blogging for the remainder of this year...

Friends and family, I look forward to staying in touch via Facebook, email and Skype.

Thanks for following everyone!

Writer's Block

I realized that I haven't posted any new blog entries in a while.  Frankly, I haven't thought of much to write about and when I've had time to write, I've been concentrating on my dissertation.
Due to a slashed budget, the Sarajevo Philharmonic does not have very many performances or rehearsals this month.  Last week, we played La Traviata and this week we play a Bosnian opera called Hasanaginica.  We've had nice, warm weather the past few days, so I'm trying to spend some time walking outside when I'm not working, writing, or practicing.
Today is a Muslim holiday, Eid al-Adha, know as "Bajram" here, commemorating Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son.  Many families sacrifice a sheep, and observe the holiday by praying and feasting.  Otes seems a little bit quieter than I expected (I remember lots of firecrackers the last time I was here for Bajram) but maybe people are saving energy for celebrating the soccer match tonight.  If the Bosnia-Herzegovina teams wins tonight's game, they will go to the World Cup tournament in Brazil.  Fingers-crossed that tonight will be a very happy one in Sarajevo.
I'll try to think of a good topic for my next post, and am happy to take any suggestions :)

Zagreb Performance Day

Before our concert on Saturday night, I had a bit of energy and decided to take myself out for a walk around Zagreb. I was worried about getting too tired and my feet did get a little sore, but I am so glad that I got to see more of the city. Here are a few more pictures:

Croatian National Theater.  So beautiful but unfortunately not big enough for  large concerts.

Jelačić Square

Flowers everywhere

I enjoyed playing the concert, despite the very difficult music and some nervous colleagues. As always, there were a few glitches here and there, but I was satisfied with my final solo (despondency suits the oboe quite well, hehe). I especially enjoyed the movements with full chorus, which were powerful with so many singers on stage.

Maybe I should explain and describe Britten's War Requiem, which I find to be a magnificent piece (some of my friends disagree with me). Britten wrote the 90-minute work to involve a massive amount of people, including a full orchestra, a chamber orchestra, organ, boys' (or in this case girls') choir, organ, chorus, and three soloist singers. The text alternates between the traditional Latin text and poetry by Wilfred Owen. The poetry describes the brutality and senseless of war, and I personally find the pacifistic message to be quite moving. I felt honored to be part of a performance that united musicians from Slovenia, Croatia, Bosnia-Herzegovina, and Serbia to convey Britten's anti-war ideology.

After the performance, I attended a nice reception held in the lobby of the concert hall, and then went out with two of my Sarajevan friends as well as several of the young foreign musicians from Zagreb Philharmonic. They were quite friendly and I had a great time getting to know them and hearing about what it is like to play and live in Zagreb. I hope that later this year, I can go back to visit and get to know the city even better.

Vienna Philharmonic

About a week ago, I found out that the Vienna Philharmonic would play in Zagreb at the Lisinski Theater the night before our performance of Britten's War Requiem at the same venue. I was excited about the chance to, perhaps, see a rehearsal if we were permitted in the theater at the same time. However, I in no way expected to be able to see the concert, since tickets were quite expensive and probably sold out.

Because of a lucky turn of events on Friday, I not only got to see the concert, but I actually got to sit on stage, among some added chairs, right behind the brass section! After being invited to watch a short sound check an hour before the concert, I went to the stage door with Azra, a clarinet player in the Sarajevo Philharmonic, and met a horn player from the Zagreb Philharmonic who said we might be able to get in if we asked. We asked and were initially turned away. I guess we looked sad enough, because the guy who turned us away then had a change of heart and said that we might be able to come in and sit on stage behind the orchestra. Ok!

My view

The Vienna Philharmonic played Tchaikovsky's Third Suite (I was not familiar with it, but it has some great English horn solos) and Shostakovich's Fifth Symphony, with Lorin Maazel conducting. I really enjoyed hearing such a strong and unique orchestra. The Vienna Philharmonic sounds different from any other major orchestra because they play on special woodwind and brass instruments. The Viennese oboes are completely different from the more commonly played French conservatoire oboes and have a very warm sound. (The disadvantage is that there is less consistency between each note of the scale.) I've never heard a Viennese oboe played live, so I was happy to be able to sit so close. Also, Azra pointed out that the orchestra managed to make the ¾ movement of Shostakovich's fifth symphony “Viennese” by adding a little lift after each downbeat in the style of a waltz. It was a little odd, but definitely interesting to hear.

The Vienna Philharmonic is known for its conservatism and, unfortunate history of exclusion. Women were not allowed to join the orchestra until quite recently, and even now I only counted 6 female members. (The former principal flutist has spoken openly about the sexism and racism she encountered during her time in Vienna: http://www.artsjournal.com/slippeddisc/2013/08/vienna-principal-flute-speaks-out-about-her-dismissal.html ) However, despite my mixed feelings about the orchestra, I cannot help but appreciate how well they play and how much they preserve a unique sound and style. There are some days full of unexpected surprises that leave me feeling quite lucky, and Friday was definitely one of those days.

Zagreb Day 1

The Sarajevo chamber orchestra and chorus departed bright and early on Thursday morning for Zagreb. We travelled by Centrotrans bus, and I'm happy to say that the trip was relatively uneventful. I always expect the worst for bus trips, since we've been seriously delayed every other time I've travelled by bus in Bosnia. This time, some small piece of the bus apparently fell off, but the driver said it “wasn't important” and we continued without delay. We were also fortunate to have quick and easy border crossings.

After arriving in Zagreb, I was assigned to a four-bed hotel room with three other women from the orchestra. The bathroom door didn't close and later the toilet broke... ugh. However, after complaining, we were able to upgrade the next morning to two separate, very nice rooms with huge bathrooms, so all in all I felt quite spoiled being in a fancy hotel room. Being the oboe nerd that I am, I was delighted that our room had a nice big desk with a lamp, perfect for adjusting my reeds. We also were provided with a decent breakfast and lunch buffet each day, and I enjoyed eating well throughout the trip.

Initially, I was only somewhat impressed with Zagreb. There are a lot of grey, ugly, buildings outside of the city center. But there are also a ton of parks, full of colorful flowerbeds, and a lovely city center filled with Austro-Hungarian architecture. Each day that I was in Zagreb, I liked it better and better, even with constant gray, rainy weather.

Thursday was a pretty tiring day, as we had a seven hour bus ride, followed by our first rehearsal in the Lisinski Theater. It's not very attractive, but the acoustics were wonderful and the hall is quite large. Despite being a bit nervous, the chamber orchestra got through our rehearsal without any major problems and were dismissed early.

Lisinski Theater

Everyone from our orchestra went out for coffee and/or beer at the theater to celebrate, but I was dying to check out the city center. Fortunately, my roommate for the trip, Azra, agreed to go with me, and we wandered past the train station, through several parks, and over to Jelačić sqaure, with it's famous horseman statue. We also made it over to the cathedral, which was gorgeous, especially lit up at night. My friend Ivana knows Zagreb quite well, and recommended a restaurant called Nokturno, just about a block away from the Cathedral. I thought it was quite good (I had pizza and a Croatian beer) and very reasonably priced.

Cathedral at night

On Friday morning, we had our first full rehearsal with everyone from both orchestras and the several choirs on stage. I had a great time hearing Britten's War Requiem fit together, and meeting some of the friendly younger musicians from the Zagreb Philharmonic. After the rehearsal, I had just enough time to eat lunch and take a short nap before stopping back over at the Lisinski to check out the Vienna Philharmonic. More on that later!

Brief Update

The past week and a half has been full of rehearsals, getting to know my new American colleagues, settling in...

The orchestra had its season opening concert last Thursday night.  We played four Wagner overtures as well as Tchaikovsky Rococo Variations, featuring a fantastic Russian cellist.  Not a bad way to build up my endurance after a year of playing only a few easy gigs.

The concert went okay, despite my awkward English horn reed chirping in the opening bars of Tristan and Isolde (whoops).  The orchestra seems a little bit tense, and sad, since the budget has been slashed and money is very tight.  No receptions and our late October concert has already been cancelled.  I really hope that things start to turn around soon.  It seems to me like Sarajevans place a lot of value in their cultural institutions, and the philharmonic has a history of perseverance during difficult times, so I am trying to remain optimistic that the orchestra will manage to overcome their current financial struggles.

I feel very fortunate to be a part of a small chamber orchestra, invited to Zagreb to participate in a performance of Britten's War Requiem, alongside other musicians from throughout former Yugoslavia.   We leave bright and early, tomorrow morning.  I've never been to Zagreb, outside of the airport, and I can't wait!

Kol Nidre

Through the help of a friend, I was able to find out the time and location of Kol Nidre services in Sarajevo this year and connect with the very small Jewish community here.

The services were held last Friday evening in Sarajevo's “new synagogue”, which is just across the river from old town. The building is quite large, making it obvious that Sarajevo's Jewish community at one time was much larger than it is now. There is a tall gate surrounding the building, and so I was happy to find it finally open when I arrived a few minutes before the services were to begin. I confirmed that I was in the correct place and had a seat in the lobby, waiting for the door to the upstairs chapel to be unlocked.

All together, I counted 34 people at the services, mostly quite elderly. The few young people I saw seemed to be foreigners (other Americans, Germans, Isrealis). In the lobby, I heard a mixture of Bosnian, Hebrew, English, and Ladino. Because the Jewish community is Sarajevo is so small, the service seemed to cater toward a variety of denominations and levels of observance, and men and women sat on separate sides of the room to respect those who are more traditional. Coming from a reform background, this seemed a little bit strange to me, as did many of the sephardic tunes used for chanting the prayers. I tried my best to follow along and found it quite interesting to watch unfamiliar traditions mix with ones more familiar to me. I felt grateful to have learned many of the prayers as well as a bit of Hebrew when I was young, and now see how much of a common language can help a diaspora connect.

Meanwhile, I worried about my family back in Colorado, which has been experiencing terrible flooding. Fortunately, they remained safe, with relatively little property damage. However, the town of Evergreen, near my parents' cabin, was completely shut down and certain buildings have been washed away. I am so relieved and grateful that my family is okay and feel a bit humbled when I think of how much I tend to complain about minor daily stresses and inconveniences.

In the New Synagogue

 

Greetings and Reunions

The past week has gone by so quickly, I feel like my life is set in fast-forward.

After my stay at Edo's house last week, I got settled into my apartment and happily reunited with most of the Otes family. Slowly, I've run into all of my old friends, had lunch, drinks, coffee... Everyone is just as warm, open, and funny as I remember and it felt relatively easy to pick up where we left off.

Besides meeting old friends, I also greeted new ones. I met my oboist colleague, Lindsey (the American oboe player who came last year has decided to stay here permanently) and was delighted to find her so friendly, easy-going, and funny (oboe players tend to be a bit quiet and awkward). We hit it off right away and I know we will have a ton of fun this year. On Tuesday, a group of four new Americans came to fill out the bassoon, horn, and trombone sections. Since then, I've gotten to know the bassoonist, Andrea, the most because she is my roommate. We have a lot in common (vegetarian, married, double reed players) and hit it off immediately. I showed her and the three brass players around Otes and Ilidza on Tuesday night, encouraging them to stay up until bed time to avoid jet lag. On Wednesday, everyone came with me to the city center to meet with Alisa and get paperwork and errands taken care of.

On top of all of the greetings and reunions, I've had daily rehearsals for the Britten War Requiem, which has kept me quite busy. I'm trying to keep up with practicing, learning the repertoire, figuring out the orchestra's new English horn, making reeds, and working on my dissertation, but haven't quite managed to avoid getting behind. I'm sure that I can catch up once I settle into a routine a have a day or two off to get organized. It's hard to resist the temptation of going out with friends when I haven't seen them for 14 months!

Osijek detour

 A small chamber orchestra formed by members of the Sarajevo Philharmonic met this week to rehearse Benjamin Britten's War Requiem. Later, we will join up with the chorus and musicians from Zagreb to put everything together. (The War Requiem is a massive piece that calls for chamber orchestra, full orchestra, three soloists, chorus, boy's choir, and organ.) After taking a class on Benjamin Britten a couple years ago, I became quite a fan of his works, so I'm really happy to be a part of this project. Also, I have never been to Zagreb (the capital of Croatia) outside of the airport, and can't wait to travel there and explore the city at the end of the month.

Because the full Sarajevo Philharmonic does not meet until next week, most of my friends have been out of town and the new America players do not arrive until Tuesday. On Wednesday night I was pretty nervous about being alone in my apartment in Otes, with none of my colleagues nearby. Fortunately, my very generous bassoonist colleague, Edo, and his pianist wife, Lejla, offered to host me until today, when most of the “Otes family” returns.

Edo and Lejla live in another small village outside of Illidža called Osijek in a beautiful house with a nice large yard. I had my own room, and they made me feel so welcome and comfortable. Their son, Daris, is an adorable, precocious kindergardener, who became quite enamored with me after we played in the yard. Trying to talk to a 5-year-old was a great way to practice my Bosnian, since I didn't feel so self conscious about my terrible grammar and awkward accent.

Of course, a visit to a Bosnian home would not be complete without a party. Last night, a few of my other colleagues and their kids came over to eat cevapi (eggplant for me) and enjoy the nice weather while it lasts. The party ended with a jam session, since Edo owns quite a few instruments, including a guitar, bass, drums, and accordion. I am a bit sad to leave such a nice home, but can't wait to greet many of my friends in Otes this afternoon.

Greetings from Sarajevo

I am relieved to report that the long trip back went as smoothly as possible. I was a pound or two over the weight limit for both of my bags, and to my relief, the airlines let it slide. As far as I can tell, nothing was lost or damaged either. I'm not sure why, but I was very nervous about getting my belongings to Sarajevo this year. I don't think it was a very rational fear (though I do have terrible luck with luggage), but I think it was a symptom of my general anxiety about the changes to come.

So far, everything is as I remember, and the transition has been pretty easy. I got a lot of errands done today. Now I'm looking forward to getting unpacked and getting some rest. Most of my friends and colleagues are out of town until full orchestra rehearsals start next week, so I have plenty of time to settle in before greeting the Otes family. I'm looking forward to starting chamber orchestra rehearsals tomorrow and learning the Britten War Requiem, which we are playing in Zagreb at the end of the month.

I continue to be endeared by the Bosnian laid-back attitude and sense of humor. I couldn't help but smile yesterday as I boarded my flight from Vienna to Sarajevo, and several passengers started singing sevdalinke while waiting in line to get on the bus.

Part II

I didn't expect to be writing a sequel, but here I am, signing onto Blogger for the first time in over 6 months, about to make another transition yet again.
I am returning to Sarajevo!
I'm delighted to be invited back by the Sarajevo Philharmonic and the Cultural Exchange Program for another 10 months.  After coming back to the US last fall, I decided that I would like to write my doctoral dissertation about the recent history of intercultural and international collaboration in Sarajevo's classical music institutions.  I'm looking into whether the institutions have promoted acceptance of diversity and how they've been a source of civic pride.  I have so much to write about, so I'm working on refining my thesis and focusing my research... we'll see where it takes me!
Anyway, I really wanted to go back to Sarajevo to look for primary sources and to interview some of my former colleagues.  However, since I'm getting a doctoral degree in music performance, it is very difficult to get research funding (most grants that I found were for PhD students only, not DMA students).  So I asked the management of the Sarajevo Philharmonic if they would be willing to host me, and they offered me a contract for their 2013-2014 season.
I debated myself about the pros and cons of leaving again.  By February of this year, I was finally able to settle in, find some work as a woodwinds teacher and an online personal assistant, reconnect to my Chicago-area community and get an occasional performance gig.  It took what seemed like ages to readjust to the US, so I had to decide whether I could go through it again.  Ultimately, I want to be in Sarajevo as I finish my dissertation, and I really want the chance to be an orchestral musician again.  I took the contract.
I love Sarajevo, am eager to continue my dissertation research, and most of all, can't wait to start performing regularly again.  But, moving between the US and Bosnia is always a huge adjustment and I'm a little bit nervous about my return.  I have such good memories from my first season in Sarajevo, and naturally feel anxious about fitting in again.  Regardless of whether it's rational, I feel like I'm 14 again and going back to school... Will my friends no longer like me?  How much have I changed?  How much have they changed?  It seems so silly to have these worries, but there you have it.
Also, as my departure date nears (Monday!) I get sadder about leaving Ross again.  He has a great job at Roosevelt University and a large studio at Fox River Music Academy, so he has to remain in Chicago until he can visit over the winter holidays.  I am comforted by the fact that our relationship is strong, and we've already made it through being apart once before.  I am so grateful to live in the age of Skype!!!
Now I have a little bit more packing to do, a few goodbyes, a frantic scramble to stock up on reeds and cane.  And then...I'm off... Vidimo se, Sarajevo! (See you, Sarajevo!)

Stay tuned, friends.  I'm going to be busy with my academic writing, but will try to blog as much as I can.  I've found this to be a great way to stay in touch, and look forward to hearing from you.  Fingers crossed it won't take quite as long to get internet access this time around!

The Epilogue

            I’ve been meaning to write a final post and end this blog for a while now.  It’s been over 2 months since I returned to the US, and over 2 weeks since my summer travels ended.  A new group of Americans has already arrived and began rehearsing with the Sarajevo Philharmonic today.

            So…

            Honestly, coming back to the US has been harder than I expected.  I enjoy being able to see Ross every day and appreciate how easy it is to navigate Evanston, which now seems ridiculously clean and organized.  But, I really miss my job and my friends.

            It has been my dream to be a professional orchestral oboist for over a decade.  I was unsure whether I would ever find a job as a performer, and was particularly doubtful that I could ever make it as a principal oboist of a full-time orchestra.  Playing in the Sarajevo Philharmonic was a dream come true in that sense.  Not only did I get payed to play the oboe almost every day, but I also enjoyed playing chamber music with my colleagues and teaching a few lessons.  Yes, the orchestra was sometimes disorganized and some of my colleagues were frequently under-prepared for rehearsals.  Rehearsals were occasionally too hot, too cold, too crowded, or too loud.  But, a laid-back attitude and unique sense of humor amongst my colleagues made many unpleasant situations surprisingly tolerable.  And not having to live up to the nit-picky standards of the top-tier American orchestras made my job much more relaxing and fun. 

            On top of having a great job, I also made friends easily and quickly, got to travel around Europe, become acquainted with a new city, and learn new languages.  I miss my friends, and cannot believe how close I became to people that I have known for less than one year.  I found people in Bosnia to be so warm and sincere, but also particularly capable of having fun, joking, and enjoying life’s simple pleasures.  I spent so many hours sitting in cafes, developing a taste of coffee, but it was never a waste of time because I was always learning something new from good conversation.

            One of my goals for my year in Sarajevo was to learn to be more patient.  I realize now that completely failed at achieving that goal.  Okay, I guess I’m much more patient when waiting for delayed buses or slow service.  (I was in the DMV this morning and found it to be oddly charming!) But I’m just as anxious as ever to made make immediate good impressions, to find rewarding but challenging work, to make new friends and learn new things. It is taking me longer than I expected to reestablish connections in Chicago, get gigs, find more students, start a research project, and acquire a part-time job.  There is so much competition in the area, and building a freelance music career takes a lot of work and a lot of time.  The waiting involved is driving me crazy.  Being unemployed, with no classes to look forward to, can be excruciatingly boring at times.  I am trying to make the best of all my free time, but I’m not very good at it. 

It is hard to deal with the reality that, due to the scarcity of orchestral jobs in the US, my career as a performer might already be over, although I’m not even 30 years old.  (I guess athletes and dancers all go through this as well.)  I don’t want to be defeatest, but I need to be realistic.  I am not sure I’m entrepreneurial enough to make my own performance career, without being part of a larger organization.  In my moments of pessimism, I have to remind myself that I’m sure life will bring lots of interesting opportunities, and that I have a valuable combination of performance, teaching, and academic skills.  I never predicted that I would have the opportunities or experiences that I’ve had over the past few years. (Like playing, not one, but 4 performances with the Chicago Symphony!  And getting invited out of the blue to move to Europe for a year to play principal oboe with a professional orchestra!  I never thought I was a good enough oboist to do those things.) So if I continue to be hard working, persistent, and lucky, who knows what’s in store.  Here’s to a great 2011-2012 adventure, and to many more. Zivili/L’Chaim/To Life!

Zeljanica Recipe

Disclaimer: Some of this is a little bit hard to explain, but I’ll do my best.  If you google “zeljanica” you might find a couple more recipes and/or videos to clarify how it’s supposed to look.

Making pita takes a good bit of time, so if you want to try it yourself, leave the whole afternoon free so you don’t have to rush. 

Also, all of the measurements are guesses.  We just approximated things.  You don’t have to be perfectly precise.

First, clean a large, flat surface.  A lot of Bosnians have pita-making boards, but a dining room table will do just fine, as long as it is clean and smooth.  Also, find and clean a long thin dowel for rolling dough.  A traditional rolling pin is too short.  Finally, prepare a large, deep baking dish (the sides were maybe 4 inches tall) either by lining with baking paper or by oiling it well.

Then, make the “Jufke” (dough):

Mix about 2 cups flour with about 1 tablespoon of salt.  Add 2 tablespoons of sour cream and just a splash of water.  Mix until it starts to come to together, and add another splash or two of water if needed.

Knead well.  Kneading makes the dough elastic enough to stretch thinly, so knead for at least a few minutes.

Let dough rest at least 30 minutes after kneading

While the dough rests, make the filling

Filling (again, I am making approximations)

Combine:

3 eggs, beaten

½ cup sour cream

½ cup “fresh cheese” (There really is not an American equivalent.  The closest thing I can think of is a mix of cream cheese and ricotta.)

1 tablespoon salt (Or to taste.  It will taste more “authentic” if it is really salty, haha.)

1 small package of frozen spinach (Defrost and drain for best results), or blanch 1 bag fresh spinach.

½ cup shredded smoked cheese (this is unconventional, but tastes really really good!)

Milk as needed (the mixture should be thin enough that it spreads easily)

After dough is rested, divide into three evenly sized balls.

Sprinkle flour on the table, on a long dowel, and on the outside of one of the balls.

Begin rolling dough with dowel.  Roll into a flat circle.  Continue rolling the dough as thin a possible.  You can also try slowly stretching the dough out by hand.  Whatever works for getting a large circle of super thin dough.  Use a lot of flour so it doesn’t stick to the table or the dowel.

Cut the circle in two.

Spoon the spinach mixture to make a thick line that traces the rounded outer edge of the half-circle.  Put a little more towards the middle and a little less on the ends or it will ooze out.  Then gently roll up the dough starting from opposite the flat side of the half circle.  Roll it up all the way to the flat side.  Take the roll and place it in a baking dish.  If it is longer than the length of the dish, just bend it around to start another row. 

Continue the above step until the baking dish is full.

Spread a thin layer of oil on top of the pita. (We forgot this step and without the oil, the pita will be very dry and crunchy.)

Bake at a medium temperature (350 F to 180 C) on a middle rack for about 30 minutes.  Then, check on the pita regularly until it turns golden brown.

Remove the dish from the over and allow the pita to cool very briefly.  Cut into pieces and serve.  It is excellent with a glass of liquid yogurt, or with the yogurt poured on top of the pita.

Zeljanica going into the oven

Bascarsija Night

After being back in the US for nearly two weeks, I’m finally getting around to writing about my final few days in Sarajevo.  The Bosnian lifestyle has rubbed off on me, and after a few hours of errands, chores, or practicing, I feel the need for “pausa”.  So it’s taking a little bit longer than I expected to get reorganized, haha.

The day after returning from Sibenik, I had a relatively successful lesson in pita-making from my friend Adi.  By pita, I mean the multi-layered Bosnian pastry stuffed with cheese, meat, spinach, or potato, not the pocketed flatbread that we call pita in the US.  I really like zeljanica, the kind stuffed with spinach and chesse, so that’s what we made.  The hardest part was getting the dough well-worked so that it can be stretched super thin.  We didn’t quite get the dough as thin as it should be, so the outer layer of the pita was a bit thick.  Also, we didn’t know to brush oil on top of the pastry at the end, so it was drier and cruncher than expected, but it still tasted really good.  I’ll include our recipe on this blog. 

On Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, I spent most of my time in the city center, since we were so busy preparing for our concert on Sunday night.  Every year, spanning the entire month of July, Sarajevo hosts a large outdoor arts festival called “Bascarsijske Noci” (“Bascarsija Nights”).  The Sarajevo Philharmonic traditionally plays a concert to celebrate the opening night, on July 1^st.  We played a collection of short pieces, and accompanied a few soloists from our orchestra and from Serbia.  We played on an outdoor stage, right across from the National Library.  The library is an important landmark that was shelled during the war and is now being rebuilt, so I felt honored to be facing it while playing my last concert in Sarajevo.  The only problem with the location was that it was extremely hot, and we had to rehearse in the blinding sunlight.  At least I looked awesome playing my oboe with sunglasses on.

Rehearsal for Bascarsija Nights Opening Concert

View of the National Library from my seat in the orchestra

Between our rehearsals, I tried to spend as much time as possible with all of my friends.  I also taught a final lesson to my student, ate one last sandwich at Metropolis, my favorite restaurant, drank a few coffees, and made a last lap around the old town.  I went home only at night, and didn’t get much sleep because I had to pack and clean up the apartment.  At first, I felt like I had all the time in the world to wrap up my life in Sarajevo.  Then, a couple days before I left, panic set in, because every time I checked something off of my list, I thought of five more things to do.  But, by Sunday evening, I was all packed, the apartment was cleaned, and I could enjoy myself until it was time to go.

Unfortunately, this year, July 1^st fell on a Sunday, and our concert conflicted precisely (almost to the minute) with the Eurocup finals.  I was worried that we wouldn’t have much turnout, but we still managed to fill the seats.  My Albanian friends were very excited because the Albanian Radio Television Orchestra was in town, and a lot of their friends and former colleagues came to see us.  Our concert ended with Elgar's Pomp and Circumstance, a piece that is traditionally played at graduation ceremonies on the US.  I found it a bit funny, because the music made me feel like I was graduating from the Sarajevo Philharmonic, which I was in a way.

After the concert, Matt and I (the only two Americans who stayed all the way until the end of our season!) invited all of our friends to join us at the pivnica (the brewery).  It was an ideal spot because it was just up the hill from our concert, and has enough space to accommodate a very large group.  By the time we got to the pivnica, it was already close to midnight, since our concert was two-hours long and didn’t start until 9pm.  So we only had a short time to have a beer and say our goodbyes before the pivnica closed.  It was so sad to say goodbye, but of course I was glad to have one last evening with all of my friends.  I didn’t feel like going back to the empty apartment right afterward, so I went with just a few friends to find another place to hang out.  Since it was Sunday night, we were worried everything would be closed, but Sarajevo always has something to do at night, and we found Cheers to be open.

Saying goodbye in the Pivnica

One last drink with "The Otes Family"

My flight left at 6am on Monday, so it worked out that by the time I got home on Sunday night, I had just enough time to shower, pack a few last items, and call a cab to the airport.  Whew!  On the plus side, I didn’t have too much time to feel overly nostalgic about leaving.  And I screwed up my sleeping schedule so much I didn’t even have jet lag when I got home. J

Comedy of Errors/It's a Long Story

            On June 26^th and 27^th, the Sarajevo Philharmonic traveled to Sibenik, a small city on the Croatian coast, to perform the children’s opera “Jezeva Kuca” (“Hedgehog House”) as part of a festival there.  The Adriatic coastline in Croatia is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. I had a great time at the beach and walking around the old part of the city before our concert.  So, fortunately, it was worth the extremely unpleasant and tiring hours of travel it took to get from, and back to, Sarajevo.

            We traveled by buses that were chartered from the biggest regional bus company, Centrotrans.  There was one double-decker bus for the opera company and one “normal” bus for the orchestra.  I think that everything that could possibly go wrong on a bus trip went wrong!  I have not had very good experiences with Centrotrans buses (lots of delays, broken buses, disgruntled drivers, etc), but this was by far the worst experience.  At least everyone and their instruments made it there and back in one piece, I guess…

            The trip started quite well.  The orchestra met in the city center at 7am and boarded the bus.  There was plenty of room for everyone, and I got my own row to spread out.  I took a Dramamine, knowing that we had a windy trip ahead of us, and also plenty of time to sleep.  We started off by making really good time, and went all the way to the border in only a couple of hours, with a brief break in Jablanica.  I was conked out the whole time too, so it went extra fast.

            The problems began when we got to the Bosnian/Croatian border.  We stopped for about 20 minutes, and then pulled a 180, passing a sign that said “Welcome to Bosnia and Hezegovina”.  I was very sleepy, but alert enough to be alarmed.  I asked my colleague behind me what was happening, and he simply replied, “We are going back”.  I was extremely disappointed and worried that we had to go all the way back to Sarajevo.  Later, I found out that we couldn’t get through the border because the paperwork for taking our instruments across needed to be processed by a computer system, which was down.  So we were driving to a different border to try there.  We had the same problem at the second border, but at least it only took 5 minutes to realize that we couldn’t get through.

            After weaving around some back roads, we finally tried a third border crossing. (On the plus side, I got the grand tour of almost all of Herzegovina.)  Finally, the border patrol let us through!  But not without another holdup and nearly an hour’s delay.  Because of all of the problems crossing the border, we arrived in Sibenik nearly four hours behind schedule.  I was so happy when we finally pulled up near the harbor.  But, the trip still wasn’t over!  The bus driver didn’t know where he was going, and it took even more time to find our hotel.  So we didn’t walk into the lobby until nearly 5pm.  So much for our scheduled noon-2pm lunch. 

As we waited for our room keys, I felt so dizzy.  Because of all the chaos, I hadn’t had anything to drink all day, and I was so dehydrated.  There was some debate about trading rooms, and who would stay with whom, and I readily agreed to any arrangement, as long as I could put my stuff down and have some water.  When I finally got into my room, I think I chugged about six glasses of water, and instantly felt better.  Fortunately, the hotel also saved a little bit of the lunch for us, and we had about an hour to eat and walk around before getting back onto the bus to go to rehearsal.  After having some bread, cheese and fruit, I wandered down to the beach.  Five of my friends had traveled by car and had arrived much earlier that day.  They were all in their swim trunks and bikinis, having a great time, and greeted me enthusiastically.  I couldn’t help but feel a little cranky and jealous that they were swimming in the Adriatic and lounging by the pool while I was stuck on a bus all day.  But as soon as I waded into the warm seawater, I couldn’t help but relax and cheer up.

That evening, we took the bus back into the central part of Sibenik for a dress rehearsal and concert. The city is built on a hill that rises almost directly from the shore.  It is rather small, very old, and naturally quite charming.  I learned that Sibenik has a unique history because it was founded by Croats, unlike other cities on the Adriatic coast that were originally Roman, Illyrian, or Greek.  The bus dropped us off at a station near the harbor, which gave us a chance to stroll down a lovely promenade on the way to our venue.  We performed outside, in a square located right beside the church of St. James, which is Sibenik’s most famous landmark.  It was difficult to hear each other, and keep our music from blowing away in the wind, but I liked having the chance to perform at such an interesting location.

Church of St. James

Performing Jezeva Kuca

Looking up from the harbor at Sibenik's city center

We didn’t get back from the show until quite late, as the performance didn’t even start until 9pm.  Nonetheless, we only had one day in Croatia, and on top of that it was Matt’s birthday, so I was determined to celebrate.  Almost everyone in the orchestra headed down to the beach for a late night swim.  I didn’t swim because it was so dark and rocky, but I relaxed on a lounge chair and chatted with Matt and Ivana.  Later, I wandered down to a bar with Mattia to check out the resort’s nightlife.  It was pretty dead, but on the plus side the servers were drunk and didn’t charge us very much, hehe.

Even though we had a late night, I found myself waking up quite early the next day.  I think I was too excited about the prospect of my morning at the beach.  To start, I wandered down to breakfast and met up with most of my friends there.  The hotel’s breakfast was delicious; they even had pura (polenta) and palacinke (crepes), two of my favorite Bosnian (or in this case Croatian I guess) dishes.  I’m glad I took advantage of it, because it was the one good meal I had the entire trip.  After a leisurely breakfast and coffee, I walked down to the beach, and was immediately dragged into the sea by my friend Arvida.  The water is so calm and so warm…it would be easy to swim all day!  Unfortunately, we had to leave the hotel at 1pm, so we just had half of a day.  But we made the most of it: swimming in the sea, relaxing under umbrellas, walking around the resort, and last but not least having a drink in the pool bar.  That’s right, there was a bar in the swimming pool. J I had a Corona and pretended I was in Mexico!

Hotel Beach

Before driving back to Sarajevo, the orchestra went back to the old city to have lunch at a restaurant (not vegetarian—boo).  At this point, the comedy of errors resumed…  When we walked back to the bus station, the buses were not there.  I guess there was a miscommunication about where we would be picked up.  So we spent some time dashing back and forth through traffic, trying to find the correct meeting point.  When we finally boarded our bus, it was extremely hot.  The temperature outside was probably about 30 C/85 F, but inside it was more like 35/95, and even hotter near the back of the bus.  When my colleagues started complaining, we found out some very bad news…the air-conditioning had broken!  Ugh.  I joked that we should just go back to the beach all afternoon, wait for the company to send a new bus, and then return overnight.  It was joke at the time, but now I really think we should have done that.

We started the trip back to Sarajevo by just sticking it out, and suffering through the heat.  Luckily, heat doesn’t bother me that much, and I didn’t find it to be so bad.  However, some of my colleagues were completely miserable, and we were worried about our instruments.  A lot of the guys in the back stripped down to their underwear, while most of the women seemed to conveniently have fans (the non-electric kind) tucked into their purses.  The driver opened the back door as we drove to get some air flowing and people took turns standing by the door (hold on!) and getting fanned off by colleagues.  I couldn’t resist the pun, and joked that I had never seem a literal “fan club” before…

After a short drive, we got the other bus, the double-decker one with the singers, to pull over next to us.  There was some room on their bus, so most people moved.  There was some confusion about whether we could also move our instruments, and I ended up moving back and forth between buses a couple of times.  Finally, it was decided that we could ride on the singers’ bus, but we would stop at the border and move back onto the other bus with our instruments so that there wasn’t any problem with the paperwork.  We were allowed to keep our instruments with us, as long as they stayed on our laps.  So, I squeezed onto the top level of the double-decker with my big oboe/English horn case and we set off.  Unfortunately, the air-conditioning on the double-decker bus didn’t work very well on the upper level, so I was just as hot as before.  And much more squished.

Although I think we only drove for an hour or two, it felt like forever.  When we pulled over, I though it was because we had neared the border, and eagerly got off to switch buses.  I planed to just stay on the original bus, because even though it was hot, there was a lot more room to spread out.  Meanwhile, I was unaware that we were not yet close to the border, and that we had pulled over because the original bus was having even more problems.  The entire electrical system went down.  A bus mechanic took a look, and it turned out that a piece of the engine was missing!  Oh, Centrotrans…

So, after a noisy deliberation, it was decided that we could just abandon the broken bus, and everyone would squeeze onto the double-decker.  There weren’t quite enough seats, but we made it work by having a few people sit on the stairs and taking long breaks to stretch our legs.  I moved to the back of the bus, which was even hotter, but quieter and roomier.  I even found a corner for my oboe so I didn’t have to hold it the whole ride.

          Fortunately, the final stretch of the trip was pretty non-eventful, excepting some heated debate amongst the opera company about whether the bus could stop in Ilidza before arriving in city center (it was impossible, because there was too much luggage to sort through).  We held our breath at the border crossing and, miraculously, the police let us through without coming on board to check out the bus. (If they had, I think we could have been seriously held up, because there were more people than seats.)  After dinner in at Zdrava Voda, a well-known restaurant Jablanica, the bus drove directly to the theater.  By the time I caught a cab back to Otes with Matt and Ivana, it was midnight.  All in all, I spent 20 hours traveling to play a 45-minute 

Waking Up

I woke up this morning, my first morning back in Evanston, and it felt like the last ten months were one very long dream.  I’ve never gone away for so long and then come back to the exact place I left, and it’s a little bit disorienting.  I have all of these things that I completely forgot about: that are familiar but unexpected. It’s kind of exciting, like getting a bunch of presents, to find all of my clothes, books, music, etc that I left behind.  I forgot how big everything is in the US, how much we have, how clean and organized.  Ross and I went to the grocery store today, and I felt like I had shrunk!  Now I remember why I used to buy two tomatoes instead of four, one lemon instead of three: they are literally twice the size.

It’s funny how we form small habits, and it’s hard to change them.  This morning, I automatically reached to the left for my contact solution even though here I keep it to the right.  When I sat down to breakfast, I had a hard landing because I expected the level of the chair to be a little lower.  When I grabbed my purse, I felt around, concerned that I was missing my coin purse with the tram pass before remembering that I don’t need it here.  And when I went to pay at the grocery store, I had “dobar dan” and “hvala” at the tip of my tongue before stopping myself to say “hello” and “thank you”.

Maybe I also feel disoriented because my sleeping habits have been so disturbed.  I went 48 hours without falling asleep for more than a couple of minutes…a record for me, I think.  I can’t really sleep when traveling, and could barely sleep all of last week, since I was filled with nervousness about leaving.  I had so much that I wanted to do.  Then a friend pointed out that if I don’t cross everything off of my bucket list, I will be more motivated to come back and visit.  So I intentionally left a few things to do in Sarajevo and am hoping I can go back for a visit within the next year or so.

When I agreed to move to Sarajevo for 10 months and play with the orchestra, I expected that it would be hard to leave Ross and be in an unfamiliar place.  I was right: it was hard.  But I didn’t expect how hard it would be at the end, to go home again.  I knew that I would probably make some friends, and would be sorry to say goodbye.  But I didn’t know that I would form such strong bonds in such a short time, that I would be able to feel like a part of a family in only a few short months. Leaving my friends was very sad.  I felt silly about how much I cried.  I hope that I will stay close to them, even from such a great distance, even if it can’t be quite the same as being just upstairs/down the street/across town.

There are a lot of problems in Sarajevo: political stalemate, corruption, animosity between ethnic groups, poverty, lack of public services, litter, stray animals, unreliable public transportation, pollution…  There are a lot of people who could easily find a way to leave the city, and go somewhere cleaner, healthier, and safer.  But now I think I understand why so many Sarajevans stay in their city and maybe even why they stuck it out during and directly after the war.  It is their home, and is completely unique and very beautiful.  The people are unbelievably friendly, and extremely laid back.  It’s impossible to be unhappy around others who are so relaxed and so welcoming.  I miss it already.

IOU

So... I want write about our tour to Sibenik (a small city on the Croatian coast), and the travel complications that led to a bit of chaos, but several funny moments.

I also want to write a little bit about Bosnian "pita", which I just learned how to make :)

And of course I want to reflect on my final few days in Sarajevo.

But I am just so busy right now!

Stay tuned and I will definitely put up a few posts within the next week or two.

Worries

           It’s now my final week in Bosnia, and so far it feels a little anticlimactic.  I suppose I didn’t expect anything specific, but I thought I would be very busy and very emotional.  So far, everything has felt so normal, maybe even a little bit boring.  Ross’s flight left yesterday afternoon, and since then, I’ve just been practicing, cleaning, packing, and watching some TV.  I like being able to follow my own schedule, without having to consider my roommate’s plans, but it’s very unsettling to have the huge apartment to myself.  It’s been so nice to have a great roommate and a big group of friends this year.  I guess I forgot how much I hate being alone, even for just one day.

            The calm had allowed me to reflect on my time here, and start making plans for what I want to do next year.  Of course, all sorts of worries keep creeping into my head: will this be my last week as a professional orchestral musician, will I make it in music, do I even want to make it in music, will I fit in when I get home, will I feel lonely?  The worst question, one that is hard to suppress, is whether I will remember what I’ve learned here.  I hope that I am more open-minded, friendly, and patient than I used to be, but I am not sure that I can avoid feeling more shy and anxious once I’m settled back into Chicago.  Without any certainties about the trajectory of my career, I feel very nervous, though I reassure myself that if I am patient and work hard, everything will be okay.

            It’s hard to accept the reality that after I leave, it will be impossible to stay closely connected to all of my friends here.  While I hope we will remain in touch (hooray for facebook) I know that over time, our paths will diverge.  It’s just a fact of life that people come and go, that some friendships fade, and some relationships end.  More than ever, I am grateful to have found Ross, and to have someone willing to commit all of his life to me, even through some big changes and hard times.

            So, tomorrow, the orchestra travels to Sibenik, a small city on the Croatian coast, to play a children’s opera as part of a festival there.  I’m hoping that I feel more upbeat and optimistic once I’m busy again.  Really, how can you not be happy at the seaside?

It won't be long now...

Time goes so fast when Ross is Sarajevo, but somehow we had a very relaxing week anyway.  Last Saturday was my roommate’s last day in Bosnia, as well as my birthday, so our friend hosted a celebratory barbeque that evening.  Lots of beer, meat, and, naturally, some grilled eggplant and pineapple for me.  I had fun attempting to play one of Sara’s goodbye gifts, a Turkish instrument, called a “ney”.  It is said that only those with pure souls are able to play it.  I could barely make even a faint sound, so I guess my soul isn’t so pure.

I was sad to see my roommate go, since we’ve shared so many experiences together this year, being the only two American girls in the orchestra.  At least I have Ross here to keep me company, but once he leaves, the apartment will feel way too empty.  We’ve been in a three-bedroom place all year, so I’m starting to work my way through cleaning, throwing away unwanted items (there’s not really a recycling program in Bosnia, unfortunately) and packing stuff for Ross to bring home early.  The slow trickle of goodbyes, final performances, and packing makes leaving much less stressful than trying to do everything at once.  But it’s also harder to ignore the fact that I’m leaving when I just want to focus on enjoying what’s left of my ten months here.

Since Saturday, Ross and I have been alternating between chilling out in Otes, Ilidza, and the city center.  On Sunday, before the temperatures climbed, we walked out to the source of the Bosna river.  Starting on Monday, it got unbearably hot, so it was hard to avoid just laying around the apartment all day.  However, we managed to get out to the Park Princeva, a fancy restaurant with a hilltop view, on Tuesday night (an excellent birthday present, courtesy of my in-laws) and to my friend Arvida’s final degree recital on Wednesday morning.  We also had a lot of fun with the “Otes” family, having beers in Ilidza and showing off Ross’s Ninetendo Wii in our apartment.

Enjoying the wine and the views at Park Princeva

Last night, I had my last performance in the National Theater, a final rendition of Eugene Onegin.  True to Sarajevo Philharmonic style, there were a lot of strange moments, and some bloopers, as we struggled to follow our even crazier-than-normal conductor.  Even though I enjoy the challenge of playing with American orchestra that are usually comprised of focused groups of perfectionists, I will miss being able to laugh, experiment, and have fun my colleagues here.  Looking out at the audience in the ornately decorated hall for a final time definitely felt bittersweet.  But, I still have a trip to the seaside and a concert in Bascarsija to prepare for next weeks, so it’s not quite time to get nostalgic.  I will just try to enjoy, and maybe drag my heels a little bit hoping to make the time go slowly.