On Hold

My apologies, but I'm going to be taking a break from blogging for a while.

The past few weeks have been quite busy, and I am afraid that my schedule will only get more hectic.  I really like to write as a way of processing new events and ideas, but have not found the energy to keep up with blogging lately, especially since I have a dissertation to write this year.  Maybe once I manage to complete my first draft, I will resume blogging for the remainder of this year...

Friends and family, I look forward to staying in touch via Facebook, email and Skype.

Thanks for following everyone!

Writer's Block

I realized that I haven't posted any new blog entries in a while.  Frankly, I haven't thought of much to write about and when I've had time to write, I've been concentrating on my dissertation.
Due to a slashed budget, the Sarajevo Philharmonic does not have very many performances or rehearsals this month.  Last week, we played La Traviata and this week we play a Bosnian opera called Hasanaginica.  We've had nice, warm weather the past few days, so I'm trying to spend some time walking outside when I'm not working, writing, or practicing.
Today is a Muslim holiday, Eid al-Adha, know as "Bajram" here, commemorating Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son.  Many families sacrifice a sheep, and observe the holiday by praying and feasting.  Otes seems a little bit quieter than I expected (I remember lots of firecrackers the last time I was here for Bajram) but maybe people are saving energy for celebrating the soccer match tonight.  If the Bosnia-Herzegovina teams wins tonight's game, they will go to the World Cup tournament in Brazil.  Fingers-crossed that tonight will be a very happy one in Sarajevo.
I'll try to think of a good topic for my next post, and am happy to take any suggestions :)

Zagreb Performance Day

Before our concert on Saturday night, I had a bit of energy and decided to take myself out for a walk around Zagreb. I was worried about getting too tired and my feet did get a little sore, but I am so glad that I got to see more of the city. Here are a few more pictures:

Croatian National Theater.  So beautiful but unfortunately not big enough for  large concerts.

Jelačić Square

Flowers everywhere

I enjoyed playing the concert, despite the very difficult music and some nervous colleagues. As always, there were a few glitches here and there, but I was satisfied with my final solo (despondency suits the oboe quite well, hehe). I especially enjoyed the movements with full chorus, which were powerful with so many singers on stage.

Maybe I should explain and describe Britten's War Requiem, which I find to be a magnificent piece (some of my friends disagree with me). Britten wrote the 90-minute work to involve a massive amount of people, including a full orchestra, a chamber orchestra, organ, boys' (or in this case girls') choir, organ, chorus, and three soloist singers. The text alternates between the traditional Latin text and poetry by Wilfred Owen. The poetry describes the brutality and senseless of war, and I personally find the pacifistic message to be quite moving. I felt honored to be part of a performance that united musicians from Slovenia, Croatia, Bosnia-Herzegovina, and Serbia to convey Britten's anti-war ideology.

After the performance, I attended a nice reception held in the lobby of the concert hall, and then went out with two of my Sarajevan friends as well as several of the young foreign musicians from Zagreb Philharmonic. They were quite friendly and I had a great time getting to know them and hearing about what it is like to play and live in Zagreb. I hope that later this year, I can go back to visit and get to know the city even better.

Vienna Philharmonic

About a week ago, I found out that the Vienna Philharmonic would play in Zagreb at the Lisinski Theater the night before our performance of Britten's War Requiem at the same venue. I was excited about the chance to, perhaps, see a rehearsal if we were permitted in the theater at the same time. However, I in no way expected to be able to see the concert, since tickets were quite expensive and probably sold out.

Because of a lucky turn of events on Friday, I not only got to see the concert, but I actually got to sit on stage, among some added chairs, right behind the brass section! After being invited to watch a short sound check an hour before the concert, I went to the stage door with Azra, a clarinet player in the Sarajevo Philharmonic, and met a horn player from the Zagreb Philharmonic who said we might be able to get in if we asked. We asked and were initially turned away. I guess we looked sad enough, because the guy who turned us away then had a change of heart and said that we might be able to come in and sit on stage behind the orchestra. Ok!

My view

The Vienna Philharmonic played Tchaikovsky's Third Suite (I was not familiar with it, but it has some great English horn solos) and Shostakovich's Fifth Symphony, with Lorin Maazel conducting. I really enjoyed hearing such a strong and unique orchestra. The Vienna Philharmonic sounds different from any other major orchestra because they play on special woodwind and brass instruments. The Viennese oboes are completely different from the more commonly played French conservatoire oboes and have a very warm sound. (The disadvantage is that there is less consistency between each note of the scale.) I've never heard a Viennese oboe played live, so I was happy to be able to sit so close. Also, Azra pointed out that the orchestra managed to make the ¾ movement of Shostakovich's fifth symphony “Viennese” by adding a little lift after each downbeat in the style of a waltz. It was a little odd, but definitely interesting to hear.

The Vienna Philharmonic is known for its conservatism and, unfortunate history of exclusion. Women were not allowed to join the orchestra until quite recently, and even now I only counted 6 female members. (The former principal flutist has spoken openly about the sexism and racism she encountered during her time in Vienna: http://www.artsjournal.com/slippeddisc/2013/08/vienna-principal-flute-speaks-out-about-her-dismissal.html ) However, despite my mixed feelings about the orchestra, I cannot help but appreciate how well they play and how much they preserve a unique sound and style. There are some days full of unexpected surprises that leave me feeling quite lucky, and Friday was definitely one of those days.

Zagreb Day 1

The Sarajevo chamber orchestra and chorus departed bright and early on Thursday morning for Zagreb. We travelled by Centrotrans bus, and I'm happy to say that the trip was relatively uneventful. I always expect the worst for bus trips, since we've been seriously delayed every other time I've travelled by bus in Bosnia. This time, some small piece of the bus apparently fell off, but the driver said it “wasn't important” and we continued without delay. We were also fortunate to have quick and easy border crossings.

After arriving in Zagreb, I was assigned to a four-bed hotel room with three other women from the orchestra. The bathroom door didn't close and later the toilet broke... ugh. However, after complaining, we were able to upgrade the next morning to two separate, very nice rooms with huge bathrooms, so all in all I felt quite spoiled being in a fancy hotel room. Being the oboe nerd that I am, I was delighted that our room had a nice big desk with a lamp, perfect for adjusting my reeds. We also were provided with a decent breakfast and lunch buffet each day, and I enjoyed eating well throughout the trip.

Initially, I was only somewhat impressed with Zagreb. There are a lot of grey, ugly, buildings outside of the city center. But there are also a ton of parks, full of colorful flowerbeds, and a lovely city center filled with Austro-Hungarian architecture. Each day that I was in Zagreb, I liked it better and better, even with constant gray, rainy weather.

Thursday was a pretty tiring day, as we had a seven hour bus ride, followed by our first rehearsal in the Lisinski Theater. It's not very attractive, but the acoustics were wonderful and the hall is quite large. Despite being a bit nervous, the chamber orchestra got through our rehearsal without any major problems and were dismissed early.

Lisinski Theater

Everyone from our orchestra went out for coffee and/or beer at the theater to celebrate, but I was dying to check out the city center. Fortunately, my roommate for the trip, Azra, agreed to go with me, and we wandered past the train station, through several parks, and over to Jelačić sqaure, with it's famous horseman statue. We also made it over to the cathedral, which was gorgeous, especially lit up at night. My friend Ivana knows Zagreb quite well, and recommended a restaurant called Nokturno, just about a block away from the Cathedral. I thought it was quite good (I had pizza and a Croatian beer) and very reasonably priced.

Cathedral at night

On Friday morning, we had our first full rehearsal with everyone from both orchestras and the several choirs on stage. I had a great time hearing Britten's War Requiem fit together, and meeting some of the friendly younger musicians from the Zagreb Philharmonic. After the rehearsal, I had just enough time to eat lunch and take a short nap before stopping back over at the Lisinski to check out the Vienna Philharmonic. More on that later!

Brief Update

The past week and a half has been full of rehearsals, getting to know my new American colleagues, settling in...

The orchestra had its season opening concert last Thursday night.  We played four Wagner overtures as well as Tchaikovsky Rococo Variations, featuring a fantastic Russian cellist.  Not a bad way to build up my endurance after a year of playing only a few easy gigs.

The concert went okay, despite my awkward English horn reed chirping in the opening bars of Tristan and Isolde (whoops).  The orchestra seems a little bit tense, and sad, since the budget has been slashed and money is very tight.  No receptions and our late October concert has already been cancelled.  I really hope that things start to turn around soon.  It seems to me like Sarajevans place a lot of value in their cultural institutions, and the philharmonic has a history of perseverance during difficult times, so I am trying to remain optimistic that the orchestra will manage to overcome their current financial struggles.

I feel very fortunate to be a part of a small chamber orchestra, invited to Zagreb to participate in a performance of Britten's War Requiem, alongside other musicians from throughout former Yugoslavia.   We leave bright and early, tomorrow morning.  I've never been to Zagreb, outside of the airport, and I can't wait!

Kol Nidre

Through the help of a friend, I was able to find out the time and location of Kol Nidre services in Sarajevo this year and connect with the very small Jewish community here.

The services were held last Friday evening in Sarajevo's “new synagogue”, which is just across the river from old town. The building is quite large, making it obvious that Sarajevo's Jewish community at one time was much larger than it is now. There is a tall gate surrounding the building, and so I was happy to find it finally open when I arrived a few minutes before the services were to begin. I confirmed that I was in the correct place and had a seat in the lobby, waiting for the door to the upstairs chapel to be unlocked.

All together, I counted 34 people at the services, mostly quite elderly. The few young people I saw seemed to be foreigners (other Americans, Germans, Isrealis). In the lobby, I heard a mixture of Bosnian, Hebrew, English, and Ladino. Because the Jewish community is Sarajevo is so small, the service seemed to cater toward a variety of denominations and levels of observance, and men and women sat on separate sides of the room to respect those who are more traditional. Coming from a reform background, this seemed a little bit strange to me, as did many of the sephardic tunes used for chanting the prayers. I tried my best to follow along and found it quite interesting to watch unfamiliar traditions mix with ones more familiar to me. I felt grateful to have learned many of the prayers as well as a bit of Hebrew when I was young, and now see how much of a common language can help a diaspora connect.

Meanwhile, I worried about my family back in Colorado, which has been experiencing terrible flooding. Fortunately, they remained safe, with relatively little property damage. However, the town of Evergreen, near my parents' cabin, was completely shut down and certain buildings have been washed away. I am so relieved and grateful that my family is okay and feel a bit humbled when I think of how much I tend to complain about minor daily stresses and inconveniences.

In the New Synagogue

 

Greetings and Reunions

The past week has gone by so quickly, I feel like my life is set in fast-forward.

After my stay at Edo's house last week, I got settled into my apartment and happily reunited with most of the Otes family. Slowly, I've run into all of my old friends, had lunch, drinks, coffee... Everyone is just as warm, open, and funny as I remember and it felt relatively easy to pick up where we left off.

Besides meeting old friends, I also greeted new ones. I met my oboist colleague, Lindsey (the American oboe player who came last year has decided to stay here permanently) and was delighted to find her so friendly, easy-going, and funny (oboe players tend to be a bit quiet and awkward). We hit it off right away and I know we will have a ton of fun this year. On Tuesday, a group of four new Americans came to fill out the bassoon, horn, and trombone sections. Since then, I've gotten to know the bassoonist, Andrea, the most because she is my roommate. We have a lot in common (vegetarian, married, double reed players) and hit it off immediately. I showed her and the three brass players around Otes and Ilidza on Tuesday night, encouraging them to stay up until bed time to avoid jet lag. On Wednesday, everyone came with me to the city center to meet with Alisa and get paperwork and errands taken care of.

On top of all of the greetings and reunions, I've had daily rehearsals for the Britten War Requiem, which has kept me quite busy. I'm trying to keep up with practicing, learning the repertoire, figuring out the orchestra's new English horn, making reeds, and working on my dissertation, but haven't quite managed to avoid getting behind. I'm sure that I can catch up once I settle into a routine a have a day or two off to get organized. It's hard to resist the temptation of going out with friends when I haven't seen them for 14 months!

Osijek detour

 A small chamber orchestra formed by members of the Sarajevo Philharmonic met this week to rehearse Benjamin Britten's War Requiem. Later, we will join up with the chorus and musicians from Zagreb to put everything together. (The War Requiem is a massive piece that calls for chamber orchestra, full orchestra, three soloists, chorus, boy's choir, and organ.) After taking a class on Benjamin Britten a couple years ago, I became quite a fan of his works, so I'm really happy to be a part of this project. Also, I have never been to Zagreb (the capital of Croatia) outside of the airport, and can't wait to travel there and explore the city at the end of the month.

Because the full Sarajevo Philharmonic does not meet until next week, most of my friends have been out of town and the new America players do not arrive until Tuesday. On Wednesday night I was pretty nervous about being alone in my apartment in Otes, with none of my colleagues nearby. Fortunately, my very generous bassoonist colleague, Edo, and his pianist wife, Lejla, offered to host me until today, when most of the “Otes family” returns.

Edo and Lejla live in another small village outside of Illidža called Osijek in a beautiful house with a nice large yard. I had my own room, and they made me feel so welcome and comfortable. Their son, Daris, is an adorable, precocious kindergardener, who became quite enamored with me after we played in the yard. Trying to talk to a 5-year-old was a great way to practice my Bosnian, since I didn't feel so self conscious about my terrible grammar and awkward accent.

Of course, a visit to a Bosnian home would not be complete without a party. Last night, a few of my other colleagues and their kids came over to eat cevapi (eggplant for me) and enjoy the nice weather while it lasts. The party ended with a jam session, since Edo owns quite a few instruments, including a guitar, bass, drums, and accordion. I am a bit sad to leave such a nice home, but can't wait to greet many of my friends in Otes this afternoon.

Greetings from Sarajevo

I am relieved to report that the long trip back went as smoothly as possible. I was a pound or two over the weight limit for both of my bags, and to my relief, the airlines let it slide. As far as I can tell, nothing was lost or damaged either. I'm not sure why, but I was very nervous about getting my belongings to Sarajevo this year. I don't think it was a very rational fear (though I do have terrible luck with luggage), but I think it was a symptom of my general anxiety about the changes to come.

So far, everything is as I remember, and the transition has been pretty easy. I got a lot of errands done today. Now I'm looking forward to getting unpacked and getting some rest. Most of my friends and colleagues are out of town until full orchestra rehearsals start next week, so I have plenty of time to settle in before greeting the Otes family. I'm looking forward to starting chamber orchestra rehearsals tomorrow and learning the Britten War Requiem, which we are playing in Zagreb at the end of the month.

I continue to be endeared by the Bosnian laid-back attitude and sense of humor. I couldn't help but smile yesterday as I boarded my flight from Vienna to Sarajevo, and several passengers started singing sevdalinke while waiting in line to get on the bus.

Part II

I didn't expect to be writing a sequel, but here I am, signing onto Blogger for the first time in over 6 months, about to make another transition yet again.
I am returning to Sarajevo!
I'm delighted to be invited back by the Sarajevo Philharmonic and the Cultural Exchange Program for another 10 months.  After coming back to the US last fall, I decided that I would like to write my doctoral dissertation about the recent history of intercultural and international collaboration in Sarajevo's classical music institutions.  I'm looking into whether the institutions have promoted acceptance of diversity and how they've been a source of civic pride.  I have so much to write about, so I'm working on refining my thesis and focusing my research... we'll see where it takes me!
Anyway, I really wanted to go back to Sarajevo to look for primary sources and to interview some of my former colleagues.  However, since I'm getting a doctoral degree in music performance, it is very difficult to get research funding (most grants that I found were for PhD students only, not DMA students).  So I asked the management of the Sarajevo Philharmonic if they would be willing to host me, and they offered me a contract for their 2013-2014 season.
I debated myself about the pros and cons of leaving again.  By February of this year, I was finally able to settle in, find some work as a woodwinds teacher and an online personal assistant, reconnect to my Chicago-area community and get an occasional performance gig.  It took what seemed like ages to readjust to the US, so I had to decide whether I could go through it again.  Ultimately, I want to be in Sarajevo as I finish my dissertation, and I really want the chance to be an orchestral musician again.  I took the contract.
I love Sarajevo, am eager to continue my dissertation research, and most of all, can't wait to start performing regularly again.  But, moving between the US and Bosnia is always a huge adjustment and I'm a little bit nervous about my return.  I have such good memories from my first season in Sarajevo, and naturally feel anxious about fitting in again.  Regardless of whether it's rational, I feel like I'm 14 again and going back to school... Will my friends no longer like me?  How much have I changed?  How much have they changed?  It seems so silly to have these worries, but there you have it.
Also, as my departure date nears (Monday!) I get sadder about leaving Ross again.  He has a great job at Roosevelt University and a large studio at Fox River Music Academy, so he has to remain in Chicago until he can visit over the winter holidays.  I am comforted by the fact that our relationship is strong, and we've already made it through being apart once before.  I am so grateful to live in the age of Skype!!!
Now I have a little bit more packing to do, a few goodbyes, a frantic scramble to stock up on reeds and cane.  And then...I'm off... Vidimo se, Sarajevo! (See you, Sarajevo!)

Stay tuned, friends.  I'm going to be busy with my academic writing, but will try to blog as much as I can.  I've found this to be a great way to stay in touch, and look forward to hearing from you.  Fingers crossed it won't take quite as long to get internet access this time around!